Welcome back, friends. Today, I have decided to combine the scary true words of Deborah Tannen, the genius of postsecret.com, tying it to Deborah Tannen's book You're Wearing That?, and finally some teenage angst-from that inner teen girl I have been a little too in touch with this weekend. So now would be an appropriate time for everyone to call me Lauren Conrad, because is there anything that girl doesn't do? (I love Lauren and have not yet given up hope that MTV is coming for me; even though it's in my best interests to drop it)
I was naturally very intrigued by postsecret.com and wanted to send something in. But, I thought, and thought, and couldn't think of something I had truly never told ANYONE. Until, by some impeccable timing, I swore myself to secrecy just days after learning of postsecret. Usually, anything that is eating away at me I divulge to 4 girls I met over the summer. We met at a camp, and they're spread all across the country. We are all one another's go-to's for unbiased advice, and a sounding board for any venting that needs to be done due to the great difficulties of high school drama. Though yesterday I altered the ending to a story I was telling them to protect this newfound secret. *Wild applause because I have kept a secret for 48 hours* But, in teenage girl time that's like, at least 6 months. Why did I hide this information? Well, because, in the eyes of Deborah Tannen there is no such thing as an 'unmarked woman' (and in the eyes of John Mayer, there's no such thing as the real world).
Simply put, I didn't want to be judged by these girls. I've always felt like a bit of an odd one out. They'll laugh at how my life and stories are always more entertaining, more dramatic, and more wild than anything going on in their lives. I was afraid of pushing my life from chaotic, to something that they would look down on. My first impression with these girls was the epitome of a 'marked woman'. Literally everyone I met and spoke to in Boston, at one point or another confessed to originally labeling me as a 'mean girl' or more bluntly, a bitch; even our own mentor. People tried to turn it into a compliment, my hair was curled too nicely, and my winged liner was too even. The black sundress and gold jewelry I chose to make a good first impression-didn't. The conversation I struck was seen as a trap, it would disappear as soon as authority figures left the room-I would then reveal myself as Regina George. My attempts to look pretty to impress these people had originally marked me as someone to steer clear of, and now I find myself afraid that my actions will mark me as someone to look down upon.
The genius of post secret is a way to vent feelings that would otherwise leave someone as 'marked'. Our society is in love with marking, marking someone is so easy, its nearly impossible to not love it. You're Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen explores mother daughter relationships in conversations and mothers' attempts to shield daughters from unwanted marks is greatly discussed. Tannen states that mothers and daughters critique one another on the 'Big Three-hair, clothes and weight'. This obviously relates back to the problem in society, that women are judged based on their looks.
Overall, I would like to thank anyone who read this dissertation of teenage angst thinly veiled as a blog post on issues in society. I obviously just have a lot of feelings...
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